Naked.

 

 

Naked: [ney-kid] adj. without covering,

 exposed, open, unconcealed, unprotected,

 vulnerable.

 

I host dinner parties with my single friends

and in order to get everyone's attention, I call them:

"Naked Parties."

 

This has caused quite a stir in the LDS singles world.

I had no idea when I titled my first event that people would be talking about them, wondering if we actually get naked.

 

In the spirit of nakedness, I have decided to write

A naked post.

Raw.  Uncut.  Honest.

 

I was married for 13 years. 

My husband was selfish from the beginning.

I honestly didn't know how bad it was until I got out.

 

We had no communication.

I couldn't even talk to him about daily life.

He didn't care.

He was emotionally unavailable.

 

Eventually I found happiness doing other things.

 

I gave most of my attention to my kids,

my calling, my friends and my hobbies.

 

Shortly after my little Avrie was born,

I experienced the mother of all trials.

(I won't share it here because it's not mine to tell)

 

I will never forget the feelings of

inadequecy and worthlessness that followed.

 

I decided I was going to do what it took

to keep my marriage together and make it work.

I believe that the power of the atonement is all encompassing

and through the atonement, I could get through this.

 

This was a great experience for me as an individual.

But when it came to our marriage relationship

it didn't matter.

When only one person is rowing the boat,

you just go in circles.

 

After years of trying to save my marriage

my Heavenly Father said it was enough.

I gave it my all.  I could move forward.

 

That was my life.  

I painted a pretty picture for everyone to see

 but it wasn't real.

People see what we want them see.

 

This is not a roast.

This is my naked post.

Open.

Without covering.

Vulnerable.

 

These are my life experiences.

We each have attributes inside of us that

are the core of who we are.

Our core and life experiences combined 

shape us into what we become.

This is how I became who I am today.

 

I am strong.

I am forgiving.

I am patient.

I am loving.

I am compassionate.

I am understanding.

I am happy.

☺

 

And I am still becoming these things.