Run, Forest, Run!!

When I was a kid, I had to walk home from elementary school.

It wasn't that far and didn't really feel like it was until I got to the bottom of my street.

I could see my house and suddenly it felt so far away.

I would instantly become exhausted and just knew that I would in fact die before I got home.

As I have been running, I set goals for myself.

Pushing myself farther than the day before.

It's interesting to me that as soon as I can see my destination

I feel like my feet have become heavier and it feels like I am running in slow motion.

Then I start to try to convince myself that I am close enough and I came farther than I did yesterday, so I can stop running and walk now.

Why is that?

Why when I see the resting place do I suddenly become impatient, tired and feel weak?

Why don't I feel like quitting any sooner?

Is this what Satan does when we are getting to close to our goals?

When I set a goal for myself, I don't discouraged 5 minutes after I set it.

I think it all starts to go down hill when he can see that I'm succeeding.

That's when I get tired, discouraged, weak and want to quit.

I think it would do me good to turn around and look back and see how far I've come more often. It may be okay to stop running for a minute just so I can appreciate what I have done.

My Aunt Elaine said to me "In the church, we teach the ideal." So growing up I wanted to get married in the temple, have my family and be a stay at home mom and live happily ever after.

This is what I was taught. This is what I wanted. This is what I worked so hard to have.

This is not how it is.

So now what? I still have this goal. I'm still running in that direction.

I can see what I want and suddenly it seems impossible and so far away.

It may be time to stop running and turn around and see how far I've come.

Time to appreciate how strong I have become. What I have learned.

I must be careful to watch my step. Other people run this trail with their dogs.

I don't want to step in any one's sh@$.